Tag Archives: chronic illness

FibrofighterNicole Weekend Update

The Agony of Fibromyalgia

Entertainment 

  • Movie – Julie & Julia
  • TV Shows – Cutthroat Kitchen, Family Guy, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Quantico.
  • Music: Disclosure, Sia, Enya, Jess Glynne, Gorgon City, Letherette, AlunaGeorge, Skrillex, Diplo, Jack U, The Jets, Robert Palmer.

The Agony of Fibromyalgia  

GoogleFinds

The chronic illness battle has been on fire for me this weekend. A big thing to note is that I’m without my (herbal) medicine and that makes all of my illnesses worse including my depression. Add on my usual depression during the holidays. I can’t afford it anymore. The costs are higher and beyond my budget which means I’m going to really suffer during the holidays season and next month. I hate no having money to get things I need. I wish I could take care of it myself. I’ve even asked for help and got my response back or ignored.  I’ve been crying every single day as the fibromyalgia pain is too high up. I’ve thought of setting up a GoFundMe to possibly get funding to pay for my herbal medicine. The only thing has stopped me is that I don’t know enough people who would be willing to help me in that way. I also need help in getting more crafting supplies for my art therapy art supplies. I see so many others who gain funding so easily.  I feel really stuck with those type of things.  I’m happy that I created an Etsy shop to showcase my crafting mixed media artwork.  

 Most times I feel like I’m losing my fecking mind and that no one can help me get better. I’m on the east coast for the holiday season. I wasn’t planning on being out here during the holidays season but I couldn’t afford traveling back to see my parents. I’ve been experiencing high levels of depression and a spike in fibromyalgia pain. Everything in my body has flared up, and inflammation is heavy. One of the issues is joint pain that affects my ability to do anything. I can’t type well, can’t grasp things well, nor move properly. The weather here has been all over here from 30 degrees to 70 degrees. Add on chilly winds and such dramatic changes in the barometer and humidity. My body is unable to get used to any of the weather changes and it is never given a chance to get used to the weather or its surroundings. Im sure it will dip down in colder weather season again and I’ll be crying all over again which may happen tonight. I’ve exhausted all that would make me happy and I don’t have anything else. I’m still limited with my crafts as I don’t have all that I need to make even better completed crafting projects. 
 

There are things I’d love to get that would reduce my fibromyalgia pain and my depression disorders but it’s very expensive and there are legalities attached to it. While it has been decriminalized it’s not enough to guarantee safety. These are the times I wish I was living back in California again as I would have access to that wonderful green plant they have there in various strains. And it’s strong. That’s the only medicine that helps to relieve my pain completely. The strengths here are uneven compared to the legal states. There is no way to know what strain is being used nor what strength. I’ve learned I need to use a higher level strain to reduce my fibromyalgia pain and elevate my mood. My pain is too high. Entirely too high. I’ve learned what I need isn’t available.  

   

 

While I’m here with family, I see it is still difficult for them to understand what’s going on with me and I don’t understand them well. It’s hard to explain what’s going on with me too in laymen terms. I wish I had more interesting things to discuss but right now I do not. My health is numero uno.  All I know is that I’m feeling the full wrath of my chronic illnesses.
I don’t feel a connection with them like I should and I believe it’s vice versa for them. It feels like my needs are seen as lazy and immature. I’ll always be kid in my mind and heart. I’m awkward in how I speak and my words come out of me out of order. I end up offending them without realizing it and these days I’m afraid to speak. They want me to act a certain way, and that’s not me. It’s not a part of my personality. I like how silly, and humorous I am. A good sense of humor.  I hope one day I’ll be able to care for myself but I know I would need to have a caregiver to help me.  The list of things I can’t do is very overwhelming.  I try to not think about it too much as much as I can but I’m not always successful.  

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Twitter: @2commonsense

Main Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/fibrofighternicole/

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Daily FibroFighter Series – A New Beginning

butterfly

I have been given the opportunity to learn more about what could possibly help me to feel better.  I have been chronically ill for over 17 years with various illnesses and the lovely symptoms that go with those illnesses.  I spend a bit more time thinking about all of the things that happened last year. I found it to be amazing, shocking and scary all at the same time.   There were great things that generated a boost in confidence that I can and will be able to help myself out more. I was able to do many things last year that I haven’t been able to do in the past 10 years since I’ve been sick.

I have been focusing on finding the best ways to ease my fibromyalgia pain, and other ailments.  I felt that it was time to figure it out as I now have a chance and resources to do it.  It has been a long time coming and very much needed.

My current goals consist of maintaining my weight which has spurred on more than I thought.  I have lost some weight in the past several months through changing the way I eat and doing different types of exercise.  I enjoy doing Yoga stretches, walking, and dancing.  I also follow workout videos that I’ve found online.

My current health goals consist of continuing to:

  • Maintain my weight loss through expanding my food palette.
  • Try out different workout options that can be done anywhere.
  • Research and try out alternative complementary therapies that I believe may work in reducing the symptoms of all of my illnesses.

These goals aren’t just for the year but these are goals that will be with me for life.  My plan is to chronicle my progress on my blog as I think this is the best way for others to learn what I’m doing to improve my health and overall livelihood.  I have received so many questions over the years and finally I feel ready to share on a more public platform which will include the general media and social media networking sites.

 

 

 

 

The Daily Fight Series

file7651303838510I admit that I haven’t posted in a little while, but it wasn’t on purpose. I was sick with the flu for over a month and it took me out completely. I was forced to stay in bed and just wait it out for my body to heal. However, the flu got worse to a dangerous point and I went to the urgent care hospital center to seek help. I had bronchitis and other infections. It took two bouts of antibiotics to get my body back to a positive healing state. In many ways I looked like the kitty in this photo ha!
Some great things happened this month that I was unsure if it would happen. All I know that is I no longer feel the heavy stress that I used to feel and now I can concentrate on feeling better.
I’m thankful for the people I have met through the power of the internet who have been a big force of encouragement in my life. It took time for me to come around and feel hope. Over time the light of positivity grew in my heart and a little flower of hope was planted. It brought about great things that has completely changed my life forever.

Nicole’s Goals for 2014

Strength

I have been thinking about my goals and what I would like to do in 2014.  Honestly?  I’m not 100% percent as there is so much more that I desire to do and adding on moving overseas will make goal setting a little difficult. However, it is not impossible!

A few goals I’ve been thinking of dabbling in:

  • Continuing to write for my blog several times a week.
  • Make new friends by networking with others who have their own blogs and websites. 
  • Find free options to treat my chronic illnesses. 
  • Travel locally around my new hometown, take many pictures, and meet new people.
  • Continue with my exercise weight loss plan. I have lost over 30 pounds so far. 
  • Sign up with a rubber stamping/scrapbooking/craft direct selling company. I’ll be able to craft while I’m in my new home. Also look into other direct selling companies that would be of interest to me.
  • Expand my writing business to various levels and increase my income opportunities.
  • Work on finding my own inner peace and happiness.  This includes doing meditation on a regular basis and daily yoga techniques.
  • Find hobbies that will easily interest me and is inexpensive.
  • Look into trying new things such as zip lining. 

 

So here’s to a successful 2014!

The Daily Fight Series

Gratitude

Gratitude

Today is one of those days where I have to fight even harder to get up and moving around. Each day is different and I never know how I’ll feel. Today my back hurts more than anything and the muscle spasms hurt on top of that. My arms, legs, feet, head, and yes even my eyelashes hurt! There is no way to escape the various issues that fibromyalgia and the other illnesses I deal with too.

Even though I don’t feel well I got up out of my bed anyway. I still wonder if I should get a cane but 14+ years later I have refused to get one. I hold onto the furniture, and walls to get around my home. Sometimes I fall down and that hurts but you know what? I get right back up again.

I thought about my goals and what I would like to do today.

Goals for today included:

  1. Paid work
  2. Create my third post for the week
  3. Make a final decision on my topics for next week
  4. Comment on blogs of fellow bloggers
  5. Spend time reading blogs and the news
  6. Encourage others

So that looks like a lot but I’ve managed to complete over half of my goals.

I take my time while completing my goals. Now keep in mind I don’t always succeed but I keep going anyway and that is the most important part. I know that people may not be able to understand what I’m going through but all I can hope is they will reach deep inside to find compassion in their hearts.

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