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FibrofighterNicole Weekend Update

The Agony of Fibromyalgia


  • Movie – Julie & Julia
  • TV Shows – Cutthroat Kitchen, Family Guy, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Quantico.
  • Music: Disclosure, Sia, Enya, Jess Glynne, Gorgon City, Letherette, AlunaGeorge, Skrillex, Diplo, Jack U, The Jets, Robert Palmer.

The Agony of Fibromyalgia  


The chronic illness battle has been on fire for me this weekend. A big thing to note is that I’m without my (herbal) medicine and that makes all of my illnesses worse including my depression. Add on my usual depression during the holidays. I can’t afford it anymore. The costs are higher and beyond my budget which means I’m going to really suffer during the holidays season and next month. I hate no having money to get things I need. I wish I could take care of it myself. I’ve even asked for help and got my response back or ignored.  I’ve been crying every single day as the fibromyalgia pain is too high up. I’ve thought of setting up a GoFundMe to possibly get funding to pay for my herbal medicine. The only thing has stopped me is that I don’t know enough people who would be willing to help me in that way. I also need help in getting more crafting supplies for my art therapy art supplies. I see so many others who gain funding so easily.  I feel really stuck with those type of things.  I’m happy that I created an Etsy shop to showcase my crafting mixed media artwork.  

 Most times I feel like I’m losing my fecking mind and that no one can help me get better. I’m on the east coast for the holiday season. I wasn’t planning on being out here during the holidays season but I couldn’t afford traveling back to see my parents. I’ve been experiencing high levels of depression and a spike in fibromyalgia pain. Everything in my body has flared up, and inflammation is heavy. One of the issues is joint pain that affects my ability to do anything. I can’t type well, can’t grasp things well, nor move properly. The weather here has been all over here from 30 degrees to 70 degrees. Add on chilly winds and such dramatic changes in the barometer and humidity. My body is unable to get used to any of the weather changes and it is never given a chance to get used to the weather or its surroundings. Im sure it will dip down in colder weather season again and I’ll be crying all over again which may happen tonight. I’ve exhausted all that would make me happy and I don’t have anything else. I’m still limited with my crafts as I don’t have all that I need to make even better completed crafting projects. 

There are things I’d love to get that would reduce my fibromyalgia pain and my depression disorders but it’s very expensive and there are legalities attached to it. While it has been decriminalized it’s not enough to guarantee safety. These are the times I wish I was living back in California again as I would have access to that wonderful green plant they have there in various strains. And it’s strong. That’s the only medicine that helps to relieve my pain completely. The strengths here are uneven compared to the legal states. There is no way to know what strain is being used nor what strength. I’ve learned I need to use a higher level strain to reduce my fibromyalgia pain and elevate my mood. My pain is too high. Entirely too high. I’ve learned what I need isn’t available.  



While I’m here with family, I see it is still difficult for them to understand what’s going on with me and I don’t understand them well. It’s hard to explain what’s going on with me too in laymen terms. I wish I had more interesting things to discuss but right now I do not. My health is numero uno.  All I know is that I’m feeling the full wrath of my chronic illnesses.
I don’t feel a connection with them like I should and I believe it’s vice versa for them. It feels like my needs are seen as lazy and immature. I’ll always be kid in my mind and heart. I’m awkward in how I speak and my words come out of me out of order. I end up offending them without realizing it and these days I’m afraid to speak. They want me to act a certain way, and that’s not me. It’s not a part of my personality. I like how silly, and humorous I am. A good sense of humor.  I hope one day I’ll be able to care for myself but I know I would need to have a caregiver to help me.  The list of things I can’t do is very overwhelming.  I try to not think about it too much as much as I can but I’m not always successful.  

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Believe Me by Nicole Leon

Selection of Songs Listened:

  • Coming Home – Gorgon City ft. Maverick Sabre
  • Losing – Becky Hill
  • Nocturnal – Disclosure ft. The Weeknd
  • Stay Ready (What A Life) – Jhene Aiko ft. Kendrick Lamar
  • After Dawn – Letherette
  • WTH – Jhene Aiko ft. Ab-Soul 

  I wish people could understand that. But it’s hard for others to understand a life of nonstop aka chronic sickness and that is something I understand. It’s a hard life. It’s limiting. While I push my limits I’m learning more to not do that. I’m thankful that others will always desire for me to do more than I could ever do or handle but in return it would be great to be understood that I’m focused on what’s best for which is my continued work on my health problems. 
The full-time hustle and bustle no longer works for me. No place would hire me as I never would know how I’d feel each day. It’s unpredictable. I’m always on the lookout to find things I could possible handle but that list is amiss just like my body. My final employer gave me the best advice that I’ve ever heard which is to concentrate on fixing my health and get the best help possible as I was too young to have my fast-tracked career cut short just like that. So that is what I’m working on here. My job is my health. That’s it for now. Without your health you’re screwed. With all that I have going on I’d like to be here for awhile.I’m trying to build up the funding to try out several medical institutions that can test my body and find out what else is wrong so I can figure how to minimize the problems and improve my wellness. 
I’m thankful for all the help I’ve received but besides saying thank you, the showing it in a physical form is difficult for me. I try to find ways that I can help out. I wish I could do more major things but I have faith that I’ll get there one way or another. This help has been abundant in helping me to get slightly settled on my current situation. 
I’ve been given an opportunity to give my body the rest it needs. Giving up working was the most difficult and painful thing in my life. Giving up something I loved doing. I hope none of you experience that. It’s the worst thing to experience and I’m always on the lookout for new paths I can create. 

Published: Dangers of the Detox Diet – Nicole Leon – Health Writer and Researcher

Detox consists of the body flushing unwanted toxins out of the body; manufacturers claim that this in turn helps with dropping unwanted pounds such as extra water weight and fat. There are several diet detoxification programs currently popular in today’s weight-conscious society; however, the abstinence from solid food to purify the body has been around since ancient times. The dieter who wishes to expedite her weight loss can choose from a variety of detox techniques aimed at quick weight loss; however, the dangers of these programs can, and often do, outweigh the benefits.


The Master Cleanse Diet

This detox diet plan contains a drink consisting of a combination of cayenne pepper, lemon juice, water and maple syrup. The Master Cleanse includes the possibility of loss of vitamins, muscle breakdown and blood-sugar fluctuation. The body must go 10 days without food, which stresses all the systems, such as the heart and the liver. The Master Cleanse requires individuals to adhere to a 650-calorie diet. Once a normal diet is resumed, most/many dieters regain the lost weight.

The Joshi Holistic Diet

This diet focuses on a 21-day avoidance of acid-forming foods; the claim is that it will result in weight loss and improved health. The reduction of acidic foods in a body should create an alkali state, which supposedly will help the body’s system break down fat. This diet encourages the user to avoid foods such as red meat, wheat, potatoes, dairy foods and alcohol. However, the danger with this diet is that it limits healthy foods such as grains and vegetables.


Martha’s Vineyard Diet Detox

This is a 21-day detox diet plan; the manufacturer claims that the dieter will lose 21 lbs. The diet detox plan involves drinking juice mixtures, protein shakes and vegetable purees. The major dangers associated with the Martha’s Vineyard detox are that this diet isn’t ideal for individuals with high blood pressure, heart problems or kidney function issues.


Fruit Flush Diet

This diet promises a weight loss of 9 lbs. within 72 hours of the person taking part in the diet. This program requires a protein drink every two hours, which reportedly will flush toxins out and get the body into a mode of burning fat. The program requires that the dieter prepare for a week before delving into the strict regimental routine with a week of low-carbohydrate eating. This is followed by a day-long fast, during which the dieter drinks a concoction that is a combination of cranberry, orange and lemon juices mixed with cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg. The Fruit Flush dieter adds foods gradually after the fasting, which is supposed to restore the colon to optimum health. However, when a body is not given a balanced diet, it is in danger of being denied important nutrients for survival.

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