Category Archives: Relationships

Signs of a Toxic Friendship

romantic-girl_w725_h544I have been very busy with various engagements and so many things that I have to do which includes preparing for a large move which does add to my stress levels.  Added stress is unfortunately bad for me.  What I wanted to talk about was the nature of difficult and toxic friendships.  I have been through the wringer with online and offline friends due to my nonstop chronic health problems.  Sometimes I don’t always notice that a sinking ship is going on as I have my own sinking ship with my health issues.

For instance, I have had the same friendship for well over a decade and it has unfortunately grown in toxicity.  I recognized that while the individual didn’t understand one of my illnesses very well they didn’t put any effort into even trying to understand.  I took the time out to learn more about their health issues and I saw that it was an uneven amount of interest.  I have had past friendships where the person was completely smothering me.  They were upset that I decided to try some new things in my life. Unfortunately they were not happy for me. They were controlling and very self-centered.

I have been going through a process of growth and becoming more of a positive person again. I may not always succeed but I keep trying anyway. That’s the most important thing!  I have learned that not everyone is happy for me.  The ones that are unhappy with my attempts at improving my life, I have reduced my contact with them.  I noticed a level of jealousy and I don’t get that.  The increased rudeness and arrogance I don’t stand for and I would let them know but they refused to listen.  They would immediately cut me off while I was speaking with them and disappeared offline.  They would try to overstep my boundaries and I would let them know by addressing the issues at hand.

It’s important to keep good company around you.  It’s important to have helpful and positive people around you. I’m happy that I have people around me who are genuinely happy with what I’m trying to do in my life.  They are encouraging me to keep going and to not give up.

Several signs of a toxic people:

  • Friends who will say they are supportive but instead they are trying to put you down and guide you down a terrible or dangerous path.
  • You come away from the conversations feeling miserable and completely drained.
  • They are insulting and negative to you and others.
  • They are unsupportive and can’t be counted on to be there for you.
  • They are selfish or self-centered and can’t be bothered by something if it is not about them.
  • They are a bad influence by trying to encourage you to make poor life choices and bad decisions.

Quote:  You cannot change the people around you.  But you can change the people you choose to be around. – Karen Salmansohn

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