Category Archives: Goals

FibrofighterNicole Weekend Update

The Agony of Fibromyalgia

Entertainment 

  • Movie – Julie & Julia
  • TV Shows – Cutthroat Kitchen, Family Guy, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Quantico.
  • Music: Disclosure, Sia, Enya, Jess Glynne, Gorgon City, Letherette, AlunaGeorge, Skrillex, Diplo, Jack U, The Jets, Robert Palmer.

The Agony of Fibromyalgia  

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The chronic illness battle has been on fire for me this weekend. A big thing to note is that I’m without my (herbal) medicine and that makes all of my illnesses worse including my depression. Add on my usual depression during the holidays. I can’t afford it anymore. The costs are higher and beyond my budget which means I’m going to really suffer during the holidays season and next month. I hate no having money to get things I need. I wish I could take care of it myself. I’ve even asked for help and got my response back or ignored.  I’ve been crying every single day as the fibromyalgia pain is too high up. I’ve thought of setting up a GoFundMe to possibly get funding to pay for my herbal medicine. The only thing has stopped me is that I don’t know enough people who would be willing to help me in that way. I also need help in getting more crafting supplies for my art therapy art supplies. I see so many others who gain funding so easily.  I feel really stuck with those type of things.  I’m happy that I created an Etsy shop to showcase my crafting mixed media artwork.  

 Most times I feel like I’m losing my fecking mind and that no one can help me get better. I’m on the east coast for the holiday season. I wasn’t planning on being out here during the holidays season but I couldn’t afford traveling back to see my parents. I’ve been experiencing high levels of depression and a spike in fibromyalgia pain. Everything in my body has flared up, and inflammation is heavy. One of the issues is joint pain that affects my ability to do anything. I can’t type well, can’t grasp things well, nor move properly. The weather here has been all over here from 30 degrees to 70 degrees. Add on chilly winds and such dramatic changes in the barometer and humidity. My body is unable to get used to any of the weather changes and it is never given a chance to get used to the weather or its surroundings. Im sure it will dip down in colder weather season again and I’ll be crying all over again which may happen tonight. I’ve exhausted all that would make me happy and I don’t have anything else. I’m still limited with my crafts as I don’t have all that I need to make even better completed crafting projects. 
 

There are things I’d love to get that would reduce my fibromyalgia pain and my depression disorders but it’s very expensive and there are legalities attached to it. While it has been decriminalized it’s not enough to guarantee safety. These are the times I wish I was living back in California again as I would have access to that wonderful green plant they have there in various strains. And it’s strong. That’s the only medicine that helps to relieve my pain completely. The strengths here are uneven compared to the legal states. There is no way to know what strain is being used nor what strength. I’ve learned I need to use a higher level strain to reduce my fibromyalgia pain and elevate my mood. My pain is too high. Entirely too high. I’ve learned what I need isn’t available.  

   

 

While I’m here with family, I see it is still difficult for them to understand what’s going on with me and I don’t understand them well. It’s hard to explain what’s going on with me too in laymen terms. I wish I had more interesting things to discuss but right now I do not. My health is numero uno.  All I know is that I’m feeling the full wrath of my chronic illnesses.
I don’t feel a connection with them like I should and I believe it’s vice versa for them. It feels like my needs are seen as lazy and immature. I’ll always be kid in my mind and heart. I’m awkward in how I speak and my words come out of me out of order. I end up offending them without realizing it and these days I’m afraid to speak. They want me to act a certain way, and that’s not me. It’s not a part of my personality. I like how silly, and humorous I am. A good sense of humor.  I hope one day I’ll be able to care for myself but I know I would need to have a caregiver to help me.  The list of things I can’t do is very overwhelming.  I try to not think about it too much as much as I can but I’m not always successful.  

Connect with me on social media!

Shop in my Etsy store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/FibroStamper

Twitter: @2commonsense

Main Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/fibrofighternicole/

My Etsy Crafting Instagram account: http://Instagram.com/FibroStamper

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/fibrofighternicole

Life Changes

good-newsI have been a little quiet as I haven’t posted in awhile because there have been many positive changes that have occurred in my life. My life did a complete 360 degrees all the way around but I must say it is an opportunity to focus completely on my health problems and finding the ways to build my life back up. I must say that the natural pain relief has been working for the most part for those who privately inquired.

Unfortunately the natural pain relief it is still very controversial but it is an herb that helps calm my pain and gives me much needed clarity.  I can’t believe the amounts of pain relief I have experienced.  I’m thankful for this short amount of time I have to handle this move without overdoing it until I accidently do too much which is something I have done already.  I admit I have been doing a little too much too so hence the “fibro-flare” or “pain flare ups”.  Despite the chronic pain and other illnesses I have fought through it all.

I’m making some big decisions that not only affect me but many others. In many ways I believe I have already made my choice but just like The Matrix film trilogy, I’m trying to understand the choices I have made too.   All I see is that I will have difficulty but I finally have the ability to find more treatment options for Fibromyalgia symptoms and other illnesses.

originalI can say that I feel different and free on many levels to try out and learn what best works for my body.   I feel as if I’m starting all over again in the new place, new surroundings, and more.  I’m happy for all of these options and new options I’ve never even considered.

Signs of a Toxic Friendship

romantic-girl_w725_h544I have been very busy with various engagements and so many things that I have to do which includes preparing for a large move which does add to my stress levels.  Added stress is unfortunately bad for me.  What I wanted to talk about was the nature of difficult and toxic friendships.  I have been through the wringer with online and offline friends due to my nonstop chronic health problems.  Sometimes I don’t always notice that a sinking ship is going on as I have my own sinking ship with my health issues.

For instance, I have had the same friendship for well over a decade and it has unfortunately grown in toxicity.  I recognized that while the individual didn’t understand one of my illnesses very well they didn’t put any effort into even trying to understand.  I took the time out to learn more about their health issues and I saw that it was an uneven amount of interest.  I have had past friendships where the person was completely smothering me.  They were upset that I decided to try some new things in my life. Unfortunately they were not happy for me. They were controlling and very self-centered.

I have been going through a process of growth and becoming more of a positive person again. I may not always succeed but I keep trying anyway. That’s the most important thing!  I have learned that not everyone is happy for me.  The ones that are unhappy with my attempts at improving my life, I have reduced my contact with them.  I noticed a level of jealousy and I don’t get that.  The increased rudeness and arrogance I don’t stand for and I would let them know but they refused to listen.  They would immediately cut me off while I was speaking with them and disappeared offline.  They would try to overstep my boundaries and I would let them know by addressing the issues at hand.

It’s important to keep good company around you.  It’s important to have helpful and positive people around you. I’m happy that I have people around me who are genuinely happy with what I’m trying to do in my life.  They are encouraging me to keep going and to not give up.

Several signs of a toxic people:

  • Friends who will say they are supportive but instead they are trying to put you down and guide you down a terrible or dangerous path.
  • You come away from the conversations feeling miserable and completely drained.
  • They are insulting and negative to you and others.
  • They are unsupportive and can’t be counted on to be there for you.
  • They are selfish or self-centered and can’t be bothered by something if it is not about them.
  • They are a bad influence by trying to encourage you to make poor life choices and bad decisions.

Quote:  You cannot change the people around you.  But you can change the people you choose to be around. – Karen Salmansohn

Nicole’s Goals for 2014

Strength

I have been thinking about my goals and what I would like to do in 2014.  Honestly?  I’m not 100% percent as there is so much more that I desire to do and adding on moving overseas will make goal setting a little difficult. However, it is not impossible!

A few goals I’ve been thinking of dabbling in:

  • Continuing to write for my blog several times a week.
  • Make new friends by networking with others who have their own blogs and websites. 
  • Find free options to treat my chronic illnesses. 
  • Travel locally around my new hometown, take many pictures, and meet new people.
  • Continue with my exercise weight loss plan. I have lost over 30 pounds so far. 
  • Sign up with a rubber stamping/scrapbooking/craft direct selling company. I’ll be able to craft while I’m in my new home. Also look into other direct selling companies that would be of interest to me.
  • Expand my writing business to various levels and increase my income opportunities.
  • Work on finding my own inner peace and happiness.  This includes doing meditation on a regular basis and daily yoga techniques.
  • Find hobbies that will easily interest me and is inexpensive.
  • Look into trying new things such as zip lining. 

 

So here’s to a successful 2014!

My Top 20 Motivational Quotes for 2014

1532000_726430324047581_331753985_n1. Enjoy the little things. –Unknown

2. May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. – Nelson Mandela

3. Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. – Bill Cosby

4. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must. But take the step. – Unknown

5. I realized this week that I just cannot do it all. So I will choose to do what I can. Fabulously. – Clinton Kelly

6. Stop thinking and just let things happen. – Unknown

7. If you want to fly, give up everything that weights you down. –Unknown

8. If people are trying to bring you down it only means that you are above them. – Unknown

9. God gives nothing to those who keep their arms crossed.” – African Proverb

10. “Freedom is never given; it is won.” – A. Philip Randolph

11. “Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.” -Booker T. Washington

12. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. – Chinese Proverb

13. Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. – Carl Bard

14. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that. –Unknown

15. It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful. – David Steindl-Rast

16. “We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.”

― Edith Lovejoy Pierce

17. “For a new year to bring you something new, make a move, like a butterfly tearing its cocoon! Make a move!”

― Mehmet Murat ildan

18. “We are the authors of our destinies. No one can see the vision any clearer, believe in and work any harder to make it a reality more than the visionary.”

― Nike Campbell-Fatoki

 

19. Another fresh new year is here . . .

Another year to live!

To banish worry, doubt, and fear,

To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me

To live each day with zest . . .

To daily grow and try to be

My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity

Once more to right some wrongs,

To pray for peace, to plant a tree,

And sing more joyful songs!

– William Arthur Ward

 

20. Never ever give up! – Nicole Leon

 

 

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