The Agony of Fibromyalgia
The Agony of Fibromyalgia
The chronic illness battle has been on fire for me this weekend. A big thing to note is that I’m without my (herbal) medicine and that makes all of my illnesses worse including my depression. Add on my usual depression during the holidays. I can’t afford it anymore. The costs are higher and beyond my budget which means I’m going to really suffer during the holidays season and next month. I hate no having money to get things I need. I wish I could take care of it myself. I’ve even asked for help and got my response back or ignored. I’ve been crying every single day as the fibromyalgia pain is too high up. I’ve thought of setting up a GoFundMe to possibly get funding to pay for my herbal medicine. The only thing has stopped me is that I don’t know enough people who would be willing to help me in that way. I also need help in getting more crafting supplies for my art therapy art supplies. I see so many others who gain funding so easily. I feel really stuck with those type of things. I’m happy that I created an Etsy shop to showcase my crafting mixed media artwork.
Most times I feel like I’m losing my fecking mind and that no one can help me get better. I’m on the east coast for the holiday season. I wasn’t planning on being out here during the holidays season but I couldn’t afford traveling back to see my parents. I’ve been experiencing high levels of depression and a spike in fibromyalgia pain. Everything in my body has flared up, and inflammation is heavy. One of the issues is joint pain that affects my ability to do anything. I can’t type well, can’t grasp things well, nor move properly. The weather here has been all over here from 30 degrees to 70 degrees. Add on chilly winds and such dramatic changes in the barometer and humidity. My body is unable to get used to any of the weather changes and it is never given a chance to get used to the weather or its surroundings. Im sure it will dip down in colder weather season again and I’ll be crying all over again which may happen tonight. I’ve exhausted all that would make me happy and I don’t have anything else. I’m still limited with my crafts as I don’t have all that I need to make even better completed crafting projects.
There are things I’d love to get that would reduce my fibromyalgia pain and my depression disorders but it’s very expensive and there are legalities attached to it. While it has been decriminalized it’s not enough to guarantee safety. These are the times I wish I was living back in California again as I would have access to that wonderful green plant they have there in various strains. And it’s strong. That’s the only medicine that helps to relieve my pain completely. The strengths here are uneven compared to the legal states. There is no way to know what strain is being used nor what strength. I’ve learned I need to use a higher level strain to reduce my fibromyalgia pain and elevate my mood. My pain is too high. Entirely too high. I’ve learned what I need isn’t available.
While I’m here with family, I see it is still difficult for them to understand what’s going on with me and I don’t understand them well. It’s hard to explain what’s going on with me too in laymen terms. I wish I had more interesting things to discuss but right now I do not. My health is numero uno. All I know is that I’m feeling the full wrath of my chronic illnesses.
I don’t feel a connection with them like I should and I believe it’s vice versa for them. It feels like my needs are seen as lazy and immature. I’ll always be kid in my mind and heart. I’m awkward in how I speak and my words come out of me out of order. I end up offending them without realizing it and these days I’m afraid to speak. They want me to act a certain way, and that’s not me. It’s not a part of my personality. I like how silly, and humorous I am. A good sense of humor. I hope one day I’ll be able to care for myself but I know I would need to have a caregiver to help me. The list of things I can’t do is very overwhelming. I try to not think about it too much as much as I can but I’m not always successful.
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Selection of Songs Listened:
I wish people could understand that. But it’s hard for others to understand a life of nonstop aka chronic sickness and that is something I understand. It’s a hard life. It’s limiting. While I push my limits I’m learning more to not do that. I’m thankful that others will always desire for me to do more than I could ever do or handle but in return it would be great to be understood that I’m focused on what’s best for which is my continued work on my health problems.
The full-time hustle and bustle no longer works for me. No place would hire me as I never would know how I’d feel each day. It’s unpredictable. I’m always on the lookout to find things I could possible handle but that list is amiss just like my body. My final employer gave me the best advice that I’ve ever heard which is to concentrate on fixing my health and get the best help possible as I was too young to have my fast-tracked career cut short just like that. So that is what I’m working on here. My job is my health. That’s it for now. Without your health you’re screwed. With all that I have going on I’d like to be here for awhile.I’m trying to build up the funding to try out several medical institutions that can test my body and find out what else is wrong so I can figure how to minimize the problems and improve my wellness.
I’m thankful for all the help I’ve received but besides saying thank you, the showing it in a physical form is difficult for me. I try to find ways that I can help out. I wish I could do more major things but I have faith that I’ll get there one way or another. This help has been abundant in helping me to get slightly settled on my current situation.
I’ve been given an opportunity to give my body the rest it needs. Giving up working was the most difficult and painful thing in my life. Giving up something I loved doing. I hope none of you experience that. It’s the worst thing to experience and I’m always on the lookout for new paths I can create.
Turmeric is a powerful herb that has a long list of excellent health benefits. Turmeric has been used for centuries and the interest in the medicinal herb has been growing by leaps and bounds for the last several years as people look for natural ways to treat illnesses. This medicinal herb has been researched in depth all over the world but the FDA (Food & Drug Administration) still has not taken an interest in researching it and thousands of other herbs that can possibly provide a way of treating a growing number of health problems. Turmeric is a part of the ginger family and is primarily found within tropical areas of Asia. The turmeric root is dried and grounded up into a mustard/orange-yellow color powder that is used a spice. It can also be used as a dye or food coloring.
It’s useful for medical treatment purposes include mixing it into ointments to help relieve arthritis, fatigue, pain, swelling, and various stomach problems. Research studies have found it has excellent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties.
Benefits of turmeric include:
I have found using turmeric and curcumin helpful in relieving various health problems. More research needs to be done to find out what more turmeric and curcumin can do in helping the body to heal. There are so many possibilities including turmeric boosting up the body’s immune system and liver detox.
Costochrondritis is one of the toughest symptoms of fibromyalgia that I’ve ever experienced. It is truly the worst pain I’ve ever experienced as the pain is heavily radiated causing inflammation in my ribcage area. Several years later I began to experience the severity of costochrondritis and I honestly believed I was having a heart attack. Not only had the fibromyalgia pain spread all over my body but the intense pain from costochrondritis started from my chest, and then expanded to my stomach, my entire back and my legs.
Costochrondritis is a medical condition that causes chest wall pain around the ribcage and breast bone area which is within the chest wall. Inflammation occurs when the cartilage swells up is connected to the ribs and breast bone area. The level of pain depends on how much inflammation there is within the cartilage. The pain levels can vary from mild to very painful. Basically the condition worsened the pain in my body making it hard to move and get things done.
I ended up in the emergency room several times as the attacks were so intense that I thought I was dying. At my final visit to the ER over this issue, a physician told me that it sounded like costochrondritis caused by the fibromyalgia. That’s when I learned the scary depths of fibromyalgia and all of the things it could lead to and how it could affect me. Any type of additional pain affects my other illnesses too. I learned that I have to treat this pain separately and collectively with all of my chronic health problems. I make sure I get checked out regularly to ensure I haven’t developed another health problem.
Some of the treatments of costochrondris vary from home remedies to prescription medications. Here is a list of several the most popular treatments recommended to treat costochrondritis such as:
In my future posts I will touch upon this topic as I consider a serious medical condition that is often misdiagnosed, misunderstood, and I feel that more people need to be informed about it.
MayoClinic – http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/costochondritis/basics/definition/con-20024454/